Embracing the Journey

Mother vs. Worshiper

2010-03-31T19:03:00.002-04:00

For some time now,...well really since I had Mateo, I have felt this pull between mother and worshiper. I think part of the problem is my definition of a worshiper, and part of the problem is my lack of scheduling and organization...but the problem still exisits. How does one be a mother and a worshiper at the same time?

Let me expand. In college, being a worshiper to me meant that I meditated on God's word throughout my day, I read books that pertained to my spiritual growth, I journaled, I listened to worship music in my room as I did whatever I wanted to do (lol, I cant even immagine just doing what I want to do now...).

Now that I've had Mateo, the meaning of being a worshiper has changed drastically! I still feel the expectation to journal, meditate, and have hours of time for devotions, but honestly, most days, Im lucky if I have time/remember to pray those breath prayers throughout my day.

As I said, I think that my expectation needs to change slightly, although all the things I did in college were good, I dont neccesarily feel like they are NEEDED. I think I need to realize that in part this is a stage of my life, and that it's ok if I dont really get to enter into worship on a Sunday Morning because of my wiggly one year old.

However I think there are probably some things I could be doing to change this in my life. I used to always struggle against the idea that a mother should get up very early in the day to begin her day before her family woke up. The Late nighter in me always felt this was NOT fair!! Why should she have to get up early instead of him?? but now Im begining to see that it's for her sanity. It's so that she can have those few minutes of quiet before the day begins to be a worshiper instead of mother, housekeeper, cook etc.

I guess I still wonder though, if this is normal or if I am the only one that feels this pull between mother and worshiper. I think and hope that it will get easier as my children grow, for now, I will simply ask my God for grace and for him to be patient with me as i fumble around finding my way to a good balance in this motherhood thing! :)

Give it a REST!!!

2008-02-25T19:45:00.002-04:00

I've just begun reading a new book called "Sabbath Keeping: Finding Freedom In The Rhythms Of Rest" by Lynne M. Baab and it has me thinking... does anyone still actually keep a sabbath? How do you keep your sabbath? what makes it special?

"The variety of sabbath possibilities is amazing. A university student loves to wear a dress to church. Then she says in her dress through the evening to remind herself that this is a special day. Even something as mundane as breakfast cereal can mark a day of rest. A couple prepares steel-cut oats on Sunday mornings because the meal takes so long to cook. The gift of the sabbath is the gift of abundant time, and a slow cooking breakfast helps this couple step outside thier daily routine of schedules and hurrying.

Some people nurture particular bible study and prayer habbits for their sabbath. One buisness owner saves up the homework for his bible study class and does it all after church on Sunday, his sabbath. He admits that he enjoys letting the assaignments pile up, because then he's motivated to spend time in the scriptures on Sunday afternoons. Another man, a Bible school teacher and administrator says he devotes Sunday afternoons to intercessory prayer. Whenever he get's an email with a prayer request, he prints it out and sets it aside for Sunday's. He enjoys reading back over those prayer requests and praying in a leisurely fasion on his sabbath.

One family observes a sabbath that begins on Saturday in the late afternoon and goes until just before dinner on Sunday. They begin their sabbath with a family gathering that includes a breath prayer. "Breathe out your frustrations and worries into the presence of God" the father or mother says, "Breathe in God's presence. God is as near as the air you breathe." This prayer has become so special to the kids that if the parents forget the breath prayer, the kids remind them."

So what do you think? has the sabbath observation become obsolete? is it a requirement or a suggestion? How do you observe the sabbath? What does the sabbath look like for you?

SnapCraclePop There go my bones....

2008-02-22T21:11:00.002-04:00

So after working and living in Sydney for the last year and a half, I notice something unusual. something unique to me and my fellow call center workers. Something that other people dont seem to strugle with and something which, quite frankly, makes me feel old and feeble.

I have noticed that I pop and crack and well, I just dont think it's healthy!! I mean not just a once in a while back cracking... NOOOOO!! No this is a daily, hips popping, neck cracking, back cracking ... Hourly!! issue!!

So my question is this: do you experience this in Your job? or is it more geared to people who work in call centers and sit down all day long? any suggestions on how one would stregthen bones and muscles at the same time as working in a call center??! come on people! there MUST be a way and Im sure one of you brilliant folks have just the cure!! :)

The Box vs. The Ball

2007-12-31T20:15:00.000-04:00

Why do I yearn to be like the masses, pushing and shoving and straining to get into a box that does not fit me?

Why do I see the flaws, recognize the falsity and yet still desire it?

Will this society, this "life mentality" never push through me? Will I never throw away the box?

The box is not what You want for me. Sure, you've made some to fit in the box, they are happy and cozy, but not me.

Teach me to want something else. Give me a Ball instead. I want to exist and live in that ball. Make me a ball lord, and may my desire be turned away from the box and all it entailes.

Turn it instead to the ball. Let me embrace the ball; who I am in you. I want to be the BEST ball I can be. For you.

Slow Down Charlie Brown!

2007-12-04T01:38:00.001-04:00

Good Grief life seems to be flying by quickly!!

I feel like I dont have time to sit and breathe let alone sit and think enough to blog!! all you moms and great multi-taskers out there... how do you do it? How do you maintain multiple things and still have time for you to not go crazy??

Having Children!

2007-11-14T23:33:00.000-04:00

This post will (i suspect) have many more readers than my normal posts. Why you ask? well because the word "child" is in the title and for some reason, that will make this post much more interesting to all you moms out there who, honestly speaking really only LOVE the blogs that have pictures of bellies or cute babies on them.

Well, I am very sorry to dissapoint you, but this post has Nothing to do with me HAVING children, rather it is all about me speculating the completely abnormal transformation that occurs when YOU have them.

Now, please dont get me wrong, and please do not be offended by this post. I mean no disrespect, I honestly believe I will be in the same place in my life soon, and Im not sure this transformation is bad, but as someone who is looking inward from the outside, I feel I must process the way children affect the life of Mothers. seriously, Have you ever noticed that when someone has a child, it almost seems as if thier personality dissapears into the oblivion that is sucked up by the child? they are no longer Jess, or Michelle, they are "Suzie's mommy" Is that Normal? Will I Want that when I have a child? Will I want my individuality to dissapear? does it have to?

Why does having children not affect Dad's in the same way? why does it seem that they are able to maintain their individuality, still have a life outside of being someone's daddy and yet still do a good job at it. Why can they have conversations that talk about other things, that have nothing to do with thier children, and yet still be deemed good parents?

WHY is it, that many MOM'S on the other hand, once they have become mom's only seem to be able to be interested in things of a motherly nature? Is it still possible for them to talk about anything other than children? Can they still be a leader in the church, preach and teach and be a separate entity from their kids? Is it just so all consuming to the mom that it's all she thinks about? You know, I desperatly want children. I love kids, and I want to tackle the challenge of bringing up children in a world that is crazy and hard, and allow them to be agents of change for Christ, but sometimes I cant help wondering about how that will affect my current ministry. Will I be sucked into the oblivion that is "Momness"? If so, is that such a bad thing?

Is this a way that God designed to develope and train women further, showing us and developing in us patience and endurance and so much more, or is it "momness" something that is not rightly pushed on us by society?

*sigh* I really am very sorry if any or all of this offended anyone (although I really dont think enough people read my blog in order to BE offended...but who knows, maybe I have a secret audience) It was not my intention ot offend, rather to process and understand. My closest friends are all moms and I dont think of them any differently than I think about people that are not mom's I guess i just needed to process some thoughts on paper...er....computer screen.

So anyway, if anyone actually reads this, thanks for letting me run my thoughts for a while and process. I dont know that I have any more perspectivie on the matter, but Im getting there.

I just....AM.

2007-11-08T23:15:00.000-04:00

Do you ever feel like the world is whrirling around you and your just standing still?
like everyone else is either Amazingly wonderful, or dreadfully in need and again...you just ...are.

That's how I've felt lately. I've felt like there must be something wrong with me, because Im neither!

I dont have deep in depth stories to tell or questions to ask, I'm not heading overseas, Im not winning thousands to Christ, Im not leading hundred's in worship, and I'm NOT pregnant.

And then on the other side of things, Im not depressed, Im not scared of life, Im not super needy, and Im not down...I just AM.

And you know, come to think of if, why is that not okay? maybe it is ok, but somehow I have made it into something that's not. I have this feeling inside of me that I must be the best at something in order to matter. I must have the deepest thoughts, the most attentive listening ears, the most beautiful voice, most insightful blog, be the best kids pastor, the best wife, be a MOTHER, in order to matter in this world.

Do other people feel this way? It's so wrong!!! and you know why it's wrong? because my value is being placed on THINGS and PEOPLE. It's being placed on people's oppinions and evaluations of me, and my evaluation of abilities and lack of ablities.

How much more effective could I be in this world, if I stopped looking at what I think I SHOULD be, and started looking at what GOD wants me to be? How much more at peace would I be if I could stop listening to what other people say about me, and start tuning in to what JESUS says about me?!

Goodness, some days you would wonder if I even knew who I was in Christ! well, it stops now. Tonight instead of looking at other people's wonderful lives, and wishing away, Im going to:
1. be thankful for the life God has given to me
2. go and spend some time with him remembering who HE tells me I am
3. allow myself to just BE.

Organic Church discussions ~ Part 1

2007-10-24T19:57:00.000-04:00

*deep breath* I have started reading this book that is revolutionizing the way I look at my faith and my church. (Which is really a good thing since as a church planter I need to be evaluating every step of the way!) It has facilitated a deepening of my passion, a re-examining of the scripture, and so much more! I would like to share some of my thoughts on this book with you.

I want to state first off that I am by no means advocating this as the "only" way to do church, or even that it is the "best" way. Some of what is written here I agree with and some I am still thinking on. But I would like to share those thoughts, good or bad, right or wrong with you and allow you to think on these things also.

So...without further ado...lets talk!!

"There is a risk involved in seeking a spontaneous movement. We must trust God to do His part. We must be willing to place ourselves in a position where, if He does not show up, we will be seen as complete fools. Most have not been willing to take that risk. We are often afraid that God's reputation will be tarnished. This fear is not from heaven but from hell. We will never see the dramatic power of God if we are too afraid to be placed in a position that requires His deliverance. We will never witness the sea part if we dont take the road that dead-ends at the beach while the enemy's forces are breathing down our necks. In a sense this is a simple explanation as to why there is so little real evidence of the miraculous in our world. Because we are not in dangerous places, there is no reason for Almighty God to show up and deliver us. There is no reason for God to step in and deliver us from arguments about the color of carpet in our safe sanctuary behind stained glass windows." ~ Neil Cole, Organic Church pg 87-88

Are we in dangerous places? Are we as God's ambasadors really in dangerous places? or have we begun to focus too much of our time and energies on Maintenance? Now, dont get me wrong, I believe that we need to maintain what God has given us, but are we still trying to EXPAND what God has given us, or are we begining to feel full enough with the harvest that's already been reaped?

I thought this was going to be a looong post, but actually, I think the question is simple and straight forward, so I will leave the post that way also...Are we in dangerous places, are we expanding, or are we full?

Natural Family Planning

2007-09-10T19:43:00.000-04:00

Does anyone have any information or know where to look to find out more about Natural family planning? This is something I am interested in as I would like to not be taking a chemical pill everyday to stop pregnancy, but I dont have enough information about it yet. So any insights or direction would be greatly appreciated.

Perfection

2007-08-28T17:42:00.000-04:00

Wow!! I cant believe that summer is almost over for this year! It seems like it was only last month that Nate and I arrived here in Sydney and began our ministry with the crazies called the Huttons and Keiths!! :) But now we are yet again about to start school, and the church year.

Life can get soo busy I find that you really dont have time to just sit and reflect for a while, life just gets away with you, events, visits, family, weddings, meetings, to do lists, and so I think that for the next few minutes, I am going to conciously set all that aside and just reflect. So here it comes, the good, the bad and the ugly.

This past year has been so huge to me. It has been a struggle. A struggle with perfection, A struggle to learn how to deal with married life, how to handle church planting, working in a secular job, learning to exist in a house church modle, discovering how to be an adult and have my own family and home. It has also been a joy! learning how to Love my husband well, becoming a part of the family that is our church, having fun with the kids here, waiting on God's timing for my own, and establishing our home as a haven and sanctuary for not just Nate and I but for anyone God brings our way... I love that stuff, and I am soo glad I had the chance to learn how to do it better!

I think along the way I have excelled in some area's and fallen flat on my face in others. I have changed a whole heap it feels like and I think Im really glad for that change. I have started to question everything...not becasue I am angry at the world or want to proove everyone wrong, but because I want to know WHY I believe what I believe. I dont want to take something at face value, I dont want to be anyone's drone. I realize that people have wisdom, and I dont want to ignore that, but I want to undersand, not just blindly accept.

I think that this questioning is good, but with the good has also come a negative side effect. When you question everything, you can seem to be angry at the world, negative and pessimistic, well with me it has not just seemed that way, it has been that way. Have you ever found that your greatest assets, satan can turn into your greatest weaknesses? I have. I think that questioning things is an asset, but I have to be very careful to not let it become my weakness. I want to question while retaining a humble, generous, and loving spirit. I want to be positive, encouraging and uplifting, and honestly, that has been very hard this last year. Its been hard to see the positives, hard to just be joyful and content, but I am learning. God is teaching me to rest in him and not try to figure out the whole world all at once, to allow him to be my teacher and the one who brings new ideas to me, so rather than go looking for something to speculate on, dissagree with or argue about inside my mind or out of it, I am waiting and trying to listen more. Trying to see the positives in what people say yet at the same time evaluate personally what I think and feel about it. I think it is a good balance and a needed change in my personality.

I know I am still outspoken and brash at times, I so desperately dont want to be. I want to be the kind of woman who is accepting and loving, not challenging and loud. but thankfully God is not done with me yet. I pray that in time he will teach me how to change from the loudest voice in the crowd, to the one who cries out to God for the crowd.

phew!! Well, there you have it, the ugly, dirty, unfinished part of the perfectionistic, never lets you see her struggles Jessica. I have for too long not shared about my imperfections and just held myself to this un-realisitc standard that can not be accomplished. I cant be perfect, and honestly...dont think I wana be right now anyway. I want to grow and change and be more like Christ every day, but perfection...I think that might be overrated....I think.

Happy Day!

2007-08-03T08:26:00.001-04:00

I have to say, since starting this new job there has been one pretty major perk...Other than not having to spend 150.00 every month on gas...

I get to see my Husband every day for lunch!! It's so nice to be able to have lunch dates with him every day! Not having that for a while has made it really nice to have!

Happy Day!! I have a Lunch Date today!! :0)

...On not being Settled

2007-08-01T15:00:00.000-04:00

In the last little while I have felt very...what is it? disettled maybe? I think it stems primarily from knowing that this is not the end of the road for us, really it is just the begining of what will be a long windey road until we can go overseas and "settle"

This has to be one of my biggest struggles right now, the fact that we are living so temporarily. Our house is temporary (rented) our furniture is temporary, it feels like our life is temporary. Yet I long for Permanence. I long to have my own home that I can change and improove that I can host in, that I can entertain in, have children in, relax in, encourage in, that I can BE in.

Now I know that you do not have to own your own home in order to do these things, but there just seems to be a sense that everything is so temporary right now. And yet I am grateful. So many times I focus on the negative and forget to verbalize the positive. So today I will be thankful.

I am thankful for our apartment. I am thankful for my husband who works hard to make it a home while I work. I am thankful for our low rent and ability to pay some bills off right now. I am thankful for the ministry I am involved in, I am thankful for my mentors the Huttons who have and continue to make such a huge difference in my life. I am thankful that my saviour is teaching me through this time in my life to be patient and content in all circumstances. I am thankful that he is patient with me as I run and fall, run and fall through this teaching.

Father thank you for you perfect will for our lives. I know that your purposes will be worked out in our hearts and lives, and I choose to trust you to prepare the way as we wait. God you are so good to us, You provide when we are so unworthy of that provision. Thank you Abba.

Goodness!!

2007-07-30T16:02:00.000-04:00

Eish!! It's been a while since I wrote any kind of post!!! Sorry about that guys! (that's assuming there are still people who read this! :)

Well, lots of exciting things have happened in the last while! I have started a new job, well...same job, just a different employer. I am still a call center rep...:( but I am now a lot closer to home and spending much less in gas per month!! :)

My friends Matt and Tami were down for a few days and it was wonderful to see them and spend some time with them! We had a great time despite the massive heat wave we have been experiencing here in Cape Breton!

Nate's family is coming down at the begining of September and we are looking forward to seeing them and spending some time with them!

Nate and My Anniversary is only about 2 weeks away!!! I cant believe we've been married for almost a year!!! wow time really flies!

We have moved from our first apartment into another one in Whitney Peir...I like our apartment, it's taken a lot of work to get it looking good, but I think were getting there!

So, that is probably the newest info in the life of me...soon I will grab some pictures and do a photo update, but for now, you will have to suffer through reading and reading alone!! I hope you all are having a wonderful summer!

Picnic Time!!

2007-06-26T18:09:00.001-04:00

Nate and I had the afternoon off from everything yesterday and went up to a wonderful place on the Island called Point Auconi! It is beautiful up there and it was so relaxing! Below you'll see some of the pictures! (sorry they are so small, I cant figure out how to make them any bigger!)

The Approach!! arriving at Point Auconi!

Nate getting creative with the camera.

View of the coastline...very far down, and very Gorgeous!!

God made such a BEAUTIFUL world!!!

Hey Look!!! its ME!!!

Looking up the hatch into the lighthouse!

Nate inside the lighthouse...look, he riped the door off!! My Man is Strong!! :)

Some weird couple we met along the way!! :D

View from inside the lighthouse

Postcard Perfect!!

Rocks that are VERY far down, but really dont seem it in this picutre!

Getting creative with the camera

Picnic time!! yummy!

Packing up and going home!

What a perfect day!...more perfect day pictures to come soon!

Oppinion Poll time!

2007-05-15T10:59:00.000-04:00

Ok Ladies and Gents,(although I doubt I'll have many guys comment on this...)

I have a question! I am considering selling pampered chef...and while I KNOW you all are going to RAVE about how amazing the product is, what I would like to know is - If someone started selling around you, would you participate? would you host parties? would you be able to purchase?

My biggest fear with this is not that people wont love it, but they wont be able to afford it. What do you think? ... Great product, great price? or great product, but not feasable becasue of the price?

Thanks for your oppinions!

Why Daddy?

2007-05-14T11:55:00.001-04:00

Recently I have started to question.

What am I? Who am I? What are these flaws that are burried so deep within me that I feel I may never work them out?

Why do I have the desire, no the NEED to be in control. Why does this dominate my life? wanting to trust others, yet never quite releasing that control, but holing on and being much worse the wear because of it. How do I release that part of me to the one who should be in ultimate control?

Why do I fight? I kick and scream and yell to be heard above the masses. I spend all my energy to be noticed by the people that don't matter. I work and I sweat and I struggle to be accepted and loved by someone of no eternal significance. They will not protect or provide, they will not love or shelter. So why I fight to be important to THEM instead of my God?

What is this need in me to be recognized, to be praised? Why do I have it? Why isent the admiration of God enough for me?

Why do I desire to "keep up with the Jones's"? Why cant I be satisfied with what I have now and what God has given me? Why do I seem to face a constant spirit of discontentment? Hasnt God been good to me? hasnt he provided all I need and then some? so why then am I not satisified?

Why do I continually struggle to set a good example, but instead am drawn to the very culture I am trying to reach out to? I say I am here to minister to people and to influence THEM, but somedays I wonder...who is the one being influenced? them or me?

And so I wonder...I have no answers...only questions.
And I guess for now, thats enough.

Moving season!!

2007-04-27T10:46:00.000-04:00

Well, the warmer weather has finally seemed to arrive and with it... moving season! This year hundreds of people will feel the need to pack, clean, pack, clean some more and eventually.... move! and amazingly enough... Nate and I will be one of them!

Thats right evryone! were officially moving.... about 3 killometers away! :0) Currently we are living in a one bedroom aprtment and are paying about 550 plus electricity per month. Now we are moving into an older home, we will have the main floor apartment, and be saving much money in our monthly bills. It is a nice two bedroom apartment on the main floor of the house. The kitchen is great... LOTS of cubbort (sp?) space and a REAL stove!! **you see in our apartment now, we only have an "apartment sized stove" and basically what that means, is you cut off about a third of the real stove size and you get my stove!**

The apartment on a whole is probably about the same size as our one bedroom that were in now, its just ordered differently to make it a two bedroom... I think its a better use of space. and... highlight of the day.... we have a TUB!!!! for the 8 months we have been in our current apartment, we have only had a box shower... and let me tell ya...it will be SOOO nice to be able to take a bath in my own shower!!

Our landlord is letting us move in the last week of the month, so hopefully around then we will have some pictures...you have my permission to get after me if you dont see those within the next few weeks! :0)

The apartment has a few great perks! There is definitly more cubbort space in the kitchen, and (*Horray!*) we will have a Full sized stove instead of an apartment sized! Anyway, more information on all of that to come!
talk to you all soon,
Jess

Its my Birthday Week!!

2007-04-05T18:24:00.000-04:00

I once had a very good friend who always celebrated her birthday for a full week before and after her actual birthday and since this seems like a very well thought out and positive plan, I decided to adopt it!

So this week is my birthday week and lots of fun things are happening!! first of all my mom, Grandma, and brother are all coming down to visit for a whole week!! I'm excited to see my family for a while! This is the longest I have been away from them and I have missed them!! So they are arriving tomorrow! I am going to be off of work for 2 extra days this week...(Lord Willing) as long as I get the time approved off at work...keep your fingers crossed!! :0) and to top it all off Im hoping for an ice cream cake from dairy queen!! hmmmmmm yummy!!!

well I am going to end this short sonnet here... I hope you are all having as great a week as I am!! Happy Birthday Week everyone! :0)

2007-03-22T17:58:00.001-04:00

Your Birth Month is April

You are trustworthy and highly ethical in all facets of life.
Helpful and steady, you are able to solve any problem.

Your soul reflects: Bliss, playfulness, and curiosity

Your gemstone: Diamond

Your flower: Sweet Pea

Your colors: Yellow and red

What Does Your Birth Month Mean?

I am still alive!!

2007-03-16T11:20:00.000-04:00

Ok, Ok, I know I havent really been the greatest at keeping this blog up... here is the official appology to all two of you who read it!! (but I love you two very much and am VERY glad that you care enough about me to read it!)

Hmmm... what to write about? well, the most exciting peice of news in my life right now is that I am going to Leave the Island!!! Since moving to Cape Breton 7 months ago, I have arrived, worked, slept, cleaned, worked, worked some more, but have NOT left... and well its just time for this travellor to travel... even if its only 4 hours away and is for a DBMD meeting... :)

Nate and I are going to try and make a day of it and have some fun together!! it will be great! So tell me "masses of people who read my blog..." what do you do to make your travel time especially fun with your families? Anything Nate and I can try? :)

talk to you all soon fellow bloggers

Worship

2007-02-27T17:51:00.000-04:00

How do you teach a child to worship?

2007-02-22T01:07:00.001-04:00

http://www.myheritage.com

Marital... bliss..er...grumpiness??

2007-02-15T21:16:00.000-04:00

Ok Ladies... I need to know. Did any of you experience a kind of "slump" sometime after your wedding? ...hold on, that sounds really bad... let me explain. :0) I have been married now for 6 months, and lately I have felt like a completely different person! and Not in a good way! Im tired all the time, Im grouchy most days, have lost my ambition and other similar symptoms. I have NO idea what is causing all this, and my only guess right now is that there has been too much change in too little time (graduation, marraige, moving, new job etc.)

What do you think? did any of you experience what Im discribing.... or am I really just loosing my mind? thanks for your oppinions :0)

Keep on Asking...

2007-02-09T19:35:00.000-04:00

You know folks...there are times when I wonder...do we really believe what the bible tells us is true? I mean Really REALLY believe it? For instance, the bible tells us that if we ask we will recieve becuase our father, loves to give his children gifts. Quite frankly, sometimes, I'm not really sure if I totally 100% believe that.

What about those trivial, totally not spiritual things that I ask God for? does he really desire to give me things like a carpet for my living room floor, or sidetables...or other very mundane average things? when does claiming Gods word move over to selfishness and self gain?

There are times when I believe and other times when I wonder...does Gods promise just refer to the super spiritual asking for more faith? What do you think?

An Introduction to me...

2007-02-07T18:58:00.000-04:00

Hello everyone in the blogging world...

I have started this blog for a few reasons. I have recently been married, graduated from College, moved away from my childhood home and many other smaller yet significant changes have occured in my life in the last few months.
With all of those changes, my life has often felt completely turned upside down and inside out and so i start this blog as a way to discover who I am, and who Christ wants me to be.

What are his plans for my life? Will I be a leader of many, or a supporter? What are my passions in life? Where will I do my best for his Kingdom? These are all questions that plague my mind and will be the topic of many discussions on this blog.

On this blog you will see much change. As I discover who I am and who I was meant to be, I will attempt to share that with you and see it reflected in my blog. I hope that by visiting this blog, you will also be challenged to think about what God has for you and who you are in him... so... Happy Discovery!!